| Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen | | | | museums. If one of you is new to the area, providing |
| So, it has finally happened. You have asked the man / | | | | or obtaining information about the town should give you |
| woman of your dreams for a date. He / she said | | | | something to chat about. |
| "sure why not?" and you're sitting across from him / | | | | How about food? We all have to eat. What is your |
| her, positive you are answering that question. You can't | | | | favorite cuisine? Do you like to cook? Have you had a |
| think of anything to talk about, except the weather and | | | | cooking triumph or disaster that you can share? |
| the local sports and bar scene, and now you're just | | | | Chances are your date has had a few of his / her |
| staring at each other, straining to find something to fill | | | | own kitchen adventures, and would enjoy talking about |
| the silence. Here are some tips to get you started. | | | | them. |
| Don't discard the weather as a topic just yet. It is a | | | | Do you like movies? Have you just read a good book |
| good subject since we all have it, and if it is extreme it | | | | or watched a great TV show? Have you visited |
| is an especially good ice breaker. Sure, you can start | | | | some place interesting? Are you planning a vacation to |
| with "you could fry eggs on the sidewalk" or "its colder | | | | an exotic location? Ask your date to describe places |
| then a well digger's posterior," and while there may be | | | | he / she has found interesting, and you may find that |
| some agreement, the conversation will probably stop | | | | you won't need another subject for the rest of the |
| there. | | | | night. |
| What do you like to do when it's real hot or cold out? | | | | Pet stories are always fun. Okay, they may not be so |
| Do you like to swim, surf, scuba dive, raft, boat, water | | | | great while they're happening, but they can be funny in |
| ski, picnic, hike, sun bathe, camp, garden or sit on your | | | | the retelling. I've gotten a lot of mileage out of the time |
| hiney with your keyboard and talk about the weather? | | | | my dog guide munched down 3 doughnuts from the |
| "I love to swim when it is this hot, don't you?" "Have | | | | desk of the law school dean. Certainly your dog, cat, |
| you ever gone on a picnic and had a bear steal your | | | | horse, ferret snake or bird has done something funny |
| food?" The idea is to have a few stories prepared | | | | that you can tell your date in hopes of getting a good |
| about your summer activities and interests, and your | | | | story in return. |
| date is bound to have some of his / her own. | | | | In the early stages of any relationship, you are just |
| Winter, Fall and Spring are also full of things to discuss. | | | | trying to establish enough common ground to learn |
| Talk about Halloween, Labor Day, Christmas, or | | | | about each other. A first date isn't the time to talk |
| Thanksgiving. Mention ice skating, sledding or shoveling | | | | about your ex, your medical problems or political or |
| snow. Talk about the worse blizzard you ever saw. | | | | religious beliefs. You don't want to come on too strong |
| Have you ever been in a hurricane or tornado? In | | | | and scare your date off. Eventually, when you and he |
| short, there are many life experiences that people | | | | she have covered some ground, it will feel more |
| share. We all have weather, and if it isn't the best topic | | | | natural to mention what a geek your brother is or how |
| on its own, it certainly can suggest a lot of subjects to | | | | you would like to teach your boss deep sea diving |
| get the conversation moving. | | | | without scuba gear. |
| Local events are also rich sources of grist for the | | | | However, for the first few hours, you want to keep it |
| conversational mill. What buildings are being torn down | | | | light and fun. Don't tell off color jokes or talk negatively |
| or put up in your town? Is a bridge being replaced or | | | | about others. Don't be critical of how others dress or |
| repaired? Can the pot holes on your local roads | | | | feel. You may be insulting your date without knowing it. |
| swallow your car? Has your mayor or the city counsel | | | | Just relax, start with casual topics, and you will find that |
| been in the news? Again, you are just trying to | | | | your discussion will build into richer and deeper |
| establish common ground. You both use the roads, | | | | subjects. |
| cross the bridge, or have opinions about whether the | | | | Take your time. Eventually, you'll know if you and he / |
| old building should be torn down or if the new one | | | | she were "meant to be" or are going to be better off |
| should be built. You both shop at local stores, eat at | | | | remaining cordial strangers. |
| local restaurants and visit the same parks and | | | | |